Monday, July 17, 2017

It's hurt... But i'm okay

It hard to express
When it comes to pain inside
Deep in your heart
Cannot be show and look physically
So ‘that’ person cannot feel how I been through
How I truly feel
How I truly face
How I truly pain

He make me explain
Like it’s that simple and easy
I try…
I try…
Yes. I do try…
But its cannot be explain
Not THAT easy!
It make me feel much more pain

If I could hurt myself
To express and show it to him
I will
But, swear to me
You could never regret it
Regret on what will happen to me
Since if that happen
I will end up
THE END live for me
I kill myself

Monday, July 10, 2017

After awhile

For some reason, today feels so difficult and exhausting
I hold my pillow closer as I sit alone in my room
I fidget with my phone as my heart

For some reason feels empty today
But then...
The suddenly ringing phone surprises me
I hear your voice, asking me if I ate today
The voice that I really miss
Voice of you Mum...
Although sometime she annoyed me
Today those words feel different
And all the forgotten promises I’ve made come flooding back to me
I think of my mom
I cried...

I will become a warm hearted person
I will become a person that puts others first
I will fulfill the wishes of your love
The person who I share my dreams with
The one who used to comb my hair

Although at times, I hurt you because of my wrong decisions
You quietly watched over me from afar
Although I’m still a young and clumsy child
I think I understand now
The meaning of your silent prayers

What should I do?
My heart is still so small
If I let go of your hand
I’m not sure if I can make it without you
I don’t think I’m ready yet
And I’m scared

I will become a wise daughter (give me courage)
No matter where I go
I will be a daughter you can be proud of
I will fulfill the wishes of your love
With all the love that you have shown me
I will have a warm heart
I was too shy to express this to you clearly
Mom, I truly love you

Image result for Mum hand

Monday, January 9, 2017

My concern is...

If someone asking me what kind of concern that you have?
I will reply . . .
My concern is that I have too much concern
I worry about many thing unnecessary
Too many
Sangat banyak sampaikan aku give up nak fikir

Seperti yang aku cakap tadi 
Aku banyak fikir perkara yang tak perlu untuk difikirkan
Unnessasary things
Yang kadang kala hanya menyemakkan ruang fikiran aku
Dan ianya berlangsungan tersimpan untuk waktu tempoh yang agak lama

Nak saja aku hapuskan terus
Lenyap tanpa sebarang jejak dan tinggalan
Tak kira tentang masalah ataupun kebimbangan
Tentang kemungkinan yang aku sendiri belum pasti
Mungkin semakin meningkat kedewasaan ni buat aku jadi sensitif
Jadi aku lebih peka tentang keadaan sekeliling
Yang berlaku pada aku dan pada orang sekeliling
Dimana aku banyak fikir tentang result dan kesan
Bagi setiap perkara yang aku lakukan dan akan lakukan
Kemungkinan bagi kemungkinan

Mungkin nampak dari luaran aku seperti tak ada masalah
Bebas gelak ketawa
Lompat dan berlari tak kira masa
Bercakap, membuli dan dibuli 
Tapi hakikatnya banyak yang tersimpan

Arrhhh jadi dewasa memang rumit 

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